Have a to be list; not a to do list
Last week, like many other people in Australia, I was on holidays with my kids due to the School Holidays period. We went down the coast of Victoria and we had a great time. These holidays were important for me and my kids due to some recent family changes, and I was determined to make it an enjoyable experience for them. Before I headed down, I remembered something I say during my leadership talks: “have a to be list; not a to do list.”
I believe that one of the most important transitions leaders need to make when they start taking leadership positions is going from “achieving” to “setting up a system” where others can achieve. Usually, people get promotions because they are good at what they do. They are good at selling, or finance, or marketing and they get promoted to a leadership or team member position. But in many cases, those people are not necessarily good at leading others. They may be good at “doing” the stuff that took them to that leadership position; but they may not be good at teaching, mentoring, coaching others or simply creating the right environment for people to shine and accomplish bigger things than they could have achieved on their own.
There are many ways we can teach these new, or not so new, leaders to make that transition. Learning Systems Thinking is one of them. Becoming good at using Ways of Working is another. But those two take time. The simplest way I have to help leaders make that transition is to get them to ditch their “to do list” and create a “to be list”. Most people I know have a to do list. They write the things they want to accomplish for the day or week; and don’t misunderstand me; I don’t think they are bad. I think they are useful. But they don’t make you think and grow. Instead, I say to the leaders we coach; rather than writing what you are going to do and accomplish; write who are you going to be. How are you going to show up. What are the things you want people to say about you at the end of this day, week, month or quarter.
Then normally, I see those leaders looking a bit puzzled and they look up and think for a bit. And then it clicks! When you decide first what you want to be; what you do to get there is easier. For example, one of the things I wanted to be this past holidays with my kids was “to be more present”; then the things to do to accomplish that were simpler: tell my team that I was not going to attend any meetings that week, leave the phone at home when we went places, etc, etc…If I had had a “to do list” instead, let’s say: go to the beach or go to this adventure park or whatever; I could have done that without being one bit present with them. Isn’t it the same at work? Wouldn’t leaders normally choose to be more present with their team members? But how do we spend our days? Going from meeting to meeting and responding to email after email…because that is what was on our to do list. Tick, tick, tick.
So how do you decide your “to be list”?
The best way is to look at your team or organisation and see what is needed that day, week, month or quarter. You can choose the period of time. Maybe the team needs you to be more present, maybe more focused, maybe more hands-off or hands-on, maybe more strategic, maybe more operational, maybe be more like a coach or mentor, it can be different at different stages and times in a team or organisation. But the point is, make it about your team. What is it that your team or organisation need at that point; and if you are not sure, maybe ask them? “Hey, how would you like me to support you over the next few weeks considering the current context and situation?” Once you decide your “to be list”; the things you need to do to accomplish it will become easier, believe me and please try it!
Last week with my kids I decided I wanted to be more present, more engaged, more silly, more adventurous and more loving. The result was fantastic, we had a lovely time, and all kids rated the holiday as 9 out of 10.
Let me know if you try this technique and if it works for you!